This morning someone wished me a "Top of the mountain."
Over the weekend, The D Bag added me to facebook. I am slowly climbing the social ranks.
I wanted to test how smart people thought I was, so i decided to answer a question totally wrong and see if anyone bought it. We were asked if anyone knew the difference between Citibank and Citigroup. I decided to respond as follows: "Well they are two separate entities, but sit under the same umbrella. One covers the actual bank, while the other covers the outside parts such as insurance. It's the same as RBC and RBC Insurance, the same entity, and yet two in dependant organizations." ... Not a single correct statement in that entire explanation.
Prof's response? "Very good! Thank you for clearing that up."
Professor Business School is an anomaly. He is a grad of my university's prestigious and pretentious business school, and yet, today he was wearing black with navy and doesn't have a corporate haircut.
Today, I met some new classmates. The Couple: a guy and a girl in a long term and very loving relationship. They are quiet and seem very nice. They reached out to the class via e-mail to see if anyone needed groups. Alicia and I bit and are now in groups with them. They dislike The Squeaky Wheel and aren't excited that she is going to be leaching onto us.
I signed up for campus speed dating. :) Let the great experiment continue...
Monday, January 18, 2010
Friday, January 15, 2010
Day 5
Class starts at 8 am. I have yet to see daylight. I had just exact change to pay the parking entrance, but the machine ate one of my quarters and I could not get into the lot. The stream of angry 8 am class attendees waited in vain while I rummaged through my center console for another quarter. Good start.
Walking through the hallways, I noticed the wonderful decorations. Bristol board projects displayed all over the walls. They are very proud of the studious cohorts.
I made it in time to get a tea before class. While waiting in line, the girls surrounding me were discussing the best remedy for diaper rash. This doesn’t surprise me based on the three ads in the back of the college handbook; police force recruiting, recruiting for low level jobs at my old company, and teen pregnancy hotlines.
We aren’t allowed to eat in class. I hope we can chew gum and wear hats.
Ashley came by and complimented my laptop. It felt like the scene in mean girls when Lohan’s character is scouted by Regina George. Only I am welcoming Regina with open arms, and totally willing to ditch my Janice Ian, aka The Squeaky Wheel.
The D Bag and I were chatting in a group, and he seems to have befriended me. He even bragged to the rest of the group jokingly that “we go way back.”
One of my professors used "most boringest" in a sentence.
It's finally the weekend.
Walking through the hallways, I noticed the wonderful decorations. Bristol board projects displayed all over the walls. They are very proud of the studious cohorts.
I made it in time to get a tea before class. While waiting in line, the girls surrounding me were discussing the best remedy for diaper rash. This doesn’t surprise me based on the three ads in the back of the college handbook; police force recruiting, recruiting for low level jobs at my old company, and teen pregnancy hotlines.
We aren’t allowed to eat in class. I hope we can chew gum and wear hats.
Ashley came by and complimented my laptop. It felt like the scene in mean girls when Lohan’s character is scouted by Regina George. Only I am welcoming Regina with open arms, and totally willing to ditch my Janice Ian, aka The Squeaky Wheel.
The D Bag and I were chatting in a group, and he seems to have befriended me. He even bragged to the rest of the group jokingly that “we go way back.”
One of my professors used "most boringest" in a sentence.
It's finally the weekend.
Thursday, January 14, 2010
Day 4
Our shortest day in the week. Today for a "Live Client" presentation we have a special class in the campus lecture theater. It appeared to be built sometime in the 1800's. On the front door, there was a huge "No Smoking" sign.
The chairs felt like the beds in holding cells, and were pale orange and had all sorts of clever graffiti on them such as "Fuck you" and "Suck it."
A woman made a presentation about her experience with breast cancer, and the students spent the entire time text messaging.
The Brittany's were talking about Alicia and I and we were dying to know what they were saying. I might have to handle them the way I handled girls when I was in high school...
The night before, I Facebook messaged a select few guys from the class asking if they wanted to be in a group with me, one of them being The Douche Bag. No one responded, but Douche Bag did approach me and mention that he might be willing to be in a group with me, and not to be shy because everyone in the program was nice. Maybe if I had a penis, the bitchy girls would be nicer.
Class is over.
The Professors have voted. We are going on strike...
Might not even see it as far as Day 5.
The chairs felt like the beds in holding cells, and were pale orange and had all sorts of clever graffiti on them such as "Fuck you" and "Suck it."
A woman made a presentation about her experience with breast cancer, and the students spent the entire time text messaging.
The Brittany's were talking about Alicia and I and we were dying to know what they were saying. I might have to handle them the way I handled girls when I was in high school...
The night before, I Facebook messaged a select few guys from the class asking if they wanted to be in a group with me, one of them being The Douche Bag. No one responded, but Douche Bag did approach me and mention that he might be willing to be in a group with me, and not to be shy because everyone in the program was nice. Maybe if I had a penis, the bitchy girls would be nicer.
Class is over.
The Professors have voted. We are going on strike...
Might not even see it as far as Day 5.
Day 3
I awoke to text messages from Alicia. She had also red flagged The Squeaky Wheel. They had been chatting online the night before. This was her story: “I used to be friends with Ashley. She told me to switch to her section because we lived near each other and could carpool. Then she got a boob job and started wearing designer labels and hangs out with the cool kids, so she won’t talk to me. Also, we have never carpooled.” Fuck our Lives.
Class now is from Professor Tarintino. He only has that nickname because he looks exactly the same as Quinten. We were told by The Cute Girls that this professor was ‘hot.’ Infer what you will. Professor Tarintino is your average “cool guy in an uncool role.” He is under 30, and has told us about 15 times so far that he doesn’t have facebook because it was take away from the time he wants to spend writing music, playing with his band, kiteboarding and cottaging. He also gave us her personal cell number in case we can’t make it to class one time.
Professor Tarintino also seems to think he is an economist, and a radical. When discussing off the cuff, a new mobile provider, we busted into a conversation of split level marketing. Wind mobile was the new launch. But alas, it cannot function as it cannot afford to build its own towers, and the current companies are refusing to lease the space. Someone mentioned this being the job of the Canadian government. Tarintino’s genius response: “*sarcasm* hmm, it would seem as though the Canadian government is facilitating a monopolistic market *cough* the LCBO *cough.*” A cough sentence? From a Professor? Not to mention how off base the entire remark was. Feeling smarter than a professor, especially when you know nothing of the subject... brutal.
Class now is from Professor Tarintino. He only has that nickname because he looks exactly the same as Quinten. We were told by The Cute Girls that this professor was ‘hot.’ Infer what you will. Professor Tarintino is your average “cool guy in an uncool role.” He is under 30, and has told us about 15 times so far that he doesn’t have facebook because it was take away from the time he wants to spend writing music, playing with his band, kiteboarding and cottaging. He also gave us her personal cell number in case we can’t make it to class one time.
Professor Tarintino also seems to think he is an economist, and a radical. When discussing off the cuff, a new mobile provider, we busted into a conversation of split level marketing. Wind mobile was the new launch. But alas, it cannot function as it cannot afford to build its own towers, and the current companies are refusing to lease the space. Someone mentioned this being the job of the Canadian government. Tarintino’s genius response: “*sarcasm* hmm, it would seem as though the Canadian government is facilitating a monopolistic market *cough* the LCBO *cough.*” A cough sentence? From a Professor? Not to mention how off base the entire remark was. Feeling smarter than a professor, especially when you know nothing of the subject... brutal.
Day 2
Alicia and I took our place at our desks, and continued to scout potential group members. We were approached by The Geek. Geek is an unnatural redhead (yes, a ginger by choice) with glasses and bad skin. She seemed nice enough and was the first to make contact, so we welcomed her with open arms. She let us know that she was actually in her 5th year of this 3 year program. So she had the experience to offer? Someone help us.
The Cute Girls (The Blonde and The Brunette): The Blonde is chattier, and very sweet. The Brunette is quiet, but not in a bad way. We spoke to these two and loved them. Normal, down to earth, smart enough.
Professor Business School: Class one is taught by a recent graduate of my university’s business school. Mutual friends. Brutal.
Alicia and I decided to ask the cute girls to join us in groups and were immediately rejected. Ouch.
Next class is taught by Professor Shorthair. Your average overachieving, overly intense, takes her job too seriously, punishes the students for the people mean to her in college, lesbian. This one could go either way.
The Squeaky Wheel: Alicia and I met her when going to the helpdesk to have the course software installed on our computers. She seemed nice enough, knew the classmates, and promised intelligence. Score. We all went together for lunch, Alicia and I embracing our new friend and potential group member. Well after our appetizer, it seemed as though The Squeaky Wheel could be a problem. She had some sort of snide remark referring to every single member of our program, had to switch sections to avoid professors that had been a previous problem for her, had a personal issue with Professor Shorthair, and had to have all of her assignments re-graded, and had also done every assignment solo while everyone else was in a group. Red Flag.
The Brittany’s laughed at something on my desktop from class.
All of the professors have poor grammar.
The Cute Girls (The Blonde and The Brunette): The Blonde is chattier, and very sweet. The Brunette is quiet, but not in a bad way. We spoke to these two and loved them. Normal, down to earth, smart enough.
Professor Business School: Class one is taught by a recent graduate of my university’s business school. Mutual friends. Brutal.
Alicia and I decided to ask the cute girls to join us in groups and were immediately rejected. Ouch.
Next class is taught by Professor Shorthair. Your average overachieving, overly intense, takes her job too seriously, punishes the students for the people mean to her in college, lesbian. This one could go either way.
The Squeaky Wheel: Alicia and I met her when going to the helpdesk to have the course software installed on our computers. She seemed nice enough, knew the classmates, and promised intelligence. Score. We all went together for lunch, Alicia and I embracing our new friend and potential group member. Well after our appetizer, it seemed as though The Squeaky Wheel could be a problem. She had some sort of snide remark referring to every single member of our program, had to switch sections to avoid professors that had been a previous problem for her, had a personal issue with Professor Shorthair, and had to have all of her assignments re-graded, and had also done every assignment solo while everyone else was in a group. Red Flag.
The Brittany’s laughed at something on my desktop from class.
All of the professors have poor grammar.
Day 1
I’m lost. I found the parking lot, and after 25 minutes of reading big red signs, I made it to my classroom with an XL coffee in hand. I was the first person in the room, soon followed by Alicia. We were now given the opportunity to view and judge every single person to come into the room. That partnered with quick introductions facilitated by our professor.
The Ashleys: All of you Recess fans must be saying “surely you are joking,” but alas, I am not. They are exactly what they sound like. A group of girls sharing the same first name. The ones in the most expensive clothing, and with the fanciest haircuts.
The Brittany’s: I think only one of them is actually names Brittany, but in my mind, they are a single entity. Bitchy. Enough said
The D bag: He’s tall and has a shaved head. He thinks he is slick. I don’t hate him, in fact he reminds me of my friends.
The Geek: She must be smart, right?
There were a whole bunch of others, but these are the first to stand out. Alicia and I trekked onto our second class, and became distressed after hearing that for every class, we would need to be in various sized groups for all of our assignments. We had to work with these people.
The Ashleys: All of you Recess fans must be saying “surely you are joking,” but alas, I am not. They are exactly what they sound like. A group of girls sharing the same first name. The ones in the most expensive clothing, and with the fanciest haircuts.
The Brittany’s: I think only one of them is actually names Brittany, but in my mind, they are a single entity. Bitchy. Enough said
The D bag: He’s tall and has a shaved head. He thinks he is slick. I don’t hate him, in fact he reminds me of my friends.
The Geek: She must be smart, right?
There were a whole bunch of others, but these are the first to stand out. Alicia and I trekked onto our second class, and became distressed after hearing that for every class, we would need to be in various sized groups for all of our assignments. We had to work with these people.
Orientation
Simple enough. The day to meet the program organizer and anyone else starting this term with me. The slew of people that I expected to meet was nothing more than one other girl. She was in the exact same situation as me, and a university grad as well. Alicia. Smart, cute, and a hockey fan. *fist pump.* The other girl in my situation was a practical mirror image, even down to us having the same haircut. The keeper of my sanity.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)